My name is HOV.
Wait. No. My name is Erika.
My brain does automatically fill in song lyrics on a regular basis though.
I’m also constantly spouting off trivia knowledge and weird grammatical rules.
I dance (pretty horribly) any time I need to laugh.
I organize, re-organize, and organize just about anything put in front of me.
I don’t know how to remain focused any more.
Hence, the tweak to this lovely little blog.
I am 34 years old and stressed on a regular basis.
A year ago, I became the head of my household. Suddenly, instead of splitting responsibilities with my incredibly independent mother and saving for vacations, dreaming up business ventures, and planning on moving into my own home, I was faced with needing to shift my plans.
First off, let me say, I am not complaining. I am not upset that I am a care giver. I am not angry that I spent the last year alternating between my Dad (who has since passed away) and my Mother’s needs. I am not.
They did everything they could possibly do for me. They we’re always supportive (in their own ways) and spoiled the crap out of me (and my older sister). We grew up well despite struggling. My life has been a lovely one.
In my adulthood, because adulting in hard and you know it, I have some how procured several stress related ailments.
I was a care free and full on silly child.
I am a hopeful to be care free adult who is incredibly awkward who is definitely still silly.
Those ailments I mentioned. The not so cute IBS. The super inconvenient Vertigo. The scary ass sounding Care Giver Burden. Oh and the stress induced lack of sleep and lack of focus.
I have turned into a ball of stress. Sometimes, its super manageable. Light a candle, grab a book, *poof* I’m good.
Other times, I sit at work and try not to sob.
I am stressed. This year, I am hoping that perhaps if I let myself fall back into things I loved. Things that are so a part of me. Things that bring me joy and make me smile. I am hoping that if I can just pull those into every day again. I can be Worry Free.
Before you say anything, I hear you thinking “worry free? yeah right.” I’m not saying that I will NEVER WORRY AGAIN! Ha! I know that isn’t a possibility.
I believe that I can live without feeling consumed by stress though. I know I can.
Now, let’s start having some fun, shall we? 🙂